The Aftermath

The audition happened. That's about all that happened. Nothing stood out as exceptional. Nothing was so horrible that I cringed. What is worst is not really knowing. Or maybe I do know and I don't want to think it, the way you avoid looking at a sink full of dirty dishes. "We'll call you if someone gets sick or leaves." It's nothing here or there. I went home after a half hour.

All of this makes my heart wander. I get passionate, but then feel let down (and inevitably this happens as it does for anyone trying to be great at something), and this is the point where my spirit crumbles. Where do I get that strength that people quote about: Michael Jordan cut from basketball teams and the like? How does a person get beyond disappointment or failure to reach their potential? Or, on the converse, how do you know when to stop if it's just not your thing?

Could anything be anyone's talent if they work hard enough?

Dynamics

What I'm playing: Praeludium and Allegro, Kreisler, Mozart duet for violin and viola, and Borodin string quartet

Who with: Myself, my teacher (Brynn Albanese), and my Quartet (Amy, Jack, and Bob)

What I'm focusing on: fixing my double stops (especially the thirds) and finishing my bow strokes gently

To many of us, music is more than notes spotting a page. But, as I listened to a recording of Praeludium and Allegro today, I was reminded of the people it portrays: the complications faced against resolution, strength in opposition to weakness, frustration and release; all of which compose a life. We are not without sadness and difficulty; how else would we recognize beauty? Are twists in life not beautiful in and of themselves? All of such are the dynamics incorporated into a life.