Emotions can be tricky. They fuel my passion that instigates so many beautiful successes, but they are the same ones that turn my thoughts inside out and sideways and make me believe I'm failing.
I thought I had interpreted the audition correctly, as a loss. But indeed it was not. Now, after four months working with the San Luis Obispo Symphony, and almost complete of my fourth concert with them, I can't help but feel so satisfied. I feel so happy, so accomplished. It's empowering.
I feel as though I am one step closer to not having regret of not accomplishing anything at the end of my life. I have a beautiful family, a loving son and dedicated husband, a beautiful place to live, kind friends, and I have my two orchestras: slo chamber orchestra and slo symphony!
Then I think, when we move I will need to drop it all, and begin again. I need to view it as another chance to meet more wonderful people and experience beautiful music and adventure with my family in another beautiful place. Lord, remind my emotions please!!
The notes in a piece carry a familiar tune each time they transition to another part of the music: a different place, a slight variation, but still the same tune. I will bring my tune wherever I go and not lose the adventure and the passion.
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